Evening All,
Since being diagnosed with Anxiety, The
meetings I have had with my counsellor have been constructive and helpful as I start
to overcome Anxiety and get myself feeling happier again.
And that work itself keeps coming up over and over again.
"Happy". It is a word that would change my life for the better and
the end goal of overcoming Anxiety.
I admit that it has been a very long time since I would use the
word Happy, not since I graduated From University in 2009 - yes that long ago -
and I have been fighting a long to be
happier again.
But as I explained to my counsellor no matter what I try and I put
a lot of effort into the work I do as a reporter and also doing family stuff and
following my hobbies.
Also I explained to the counsellor about
one thing which I personally think will make me happy and that is being with
someone who I really - and I mean really like - and all the other jobs that
come with it. Basically it's about being in a relationship. But for me they are
very, very difficult to come across and are rare as well.
I do admit that there is someone who I have had a secret crush on
for the past six months. I am not one of those guys who would name names as I
would be too embarrassed to show my feelings to this girl. But to put it simply;
she is brainy, smart, dedicated to her profession and job, helpful, trustworthy
and has the best smile in the world ever, all the things which I go for in a
girl and I really want to get to know her better and it would make me happy
being with her and being there for her.
But I did say to my counsellor that this take would be the most difficult
as I have little or no experience in this field. The counsellor explained to me
that since I have had little experience of this whilst growing up it feels that
I am making an attempt of growing up again in order to be happy. I did have to
agree on this statement as the only time I have had this experience was when I was
independent and on my own whilst at University.
So my counsellor game me some more homework to concentrate on - basically
I have to write down stuff in the past which didn't make me happy and what I would
do different now. Initially it sounds complicated but for me, this would be easy
to write down - it might me a few pages long given my past.
My Counsellor has also given me a task of writing stuff down on a
list of what stuff makes me happy at present - both easy and uneasy goals, along
with making notes about my thoughts and feelings over the past week as we will
discuss them in our next meeting together. There are a few things that can be easily
added to the list; Gillingham FC, doing Reporting work, Football Manager to name but a few
and these will be added to the list with a few others as well.
Sadly though the counsellor called an end to the meeting but
promised me that we will discuss more about getting better and happier next
week.
To be continued...
