Evening All,
Since being diagnosed with Anxiety, I have been constantly trying to create the first step to getting back to full health. But today was the first day where I can really start to rebuild my life and get over this anxiety I have.
This week in particular has been quite challenging particularly from work and at home. There was a time when I was covering Gillingham Ladies Reserves this past Sunday, there was a time when it felt like my mind was going to explode and it felt that there was nothing I can do about it.
Luckily today was the day when I had my first Anxiety screening with my counsellor and we can both together work on getting me happier, healthier and stronger. In all honesty, I wasn't expected to have this assessment meeting with so quickly but thanks to a few cancellations, I managed to get the interview today.
We sat down in a room and simply explained my past of what got to where I am presently today and what normally happens when I am having a panic attack. The counsellor recommended me to try some new breathing techniques to use when I have my next panic attack - should one come up.
I did explain to the counsellor about a few issues which has caused this anxiety both in the past in the present. These included; past and present relationship troubles, numerous job applications that failed, family issues and my past as a child especially my troubles when I was at SCC.
Overall, the counsellor decided that I have not been happy for a very long time and I said that I need to get rid of all of the negative thoughts and make myself more self confident especially at work and with the Ladies.
I also explained to the counsellor that I have been left behind in my reporting work where all of my friends and former colleagues have gone and done bigger and better things, I said that I have fallen behind and I badly need to catch up. And also with my friends as well, they have all started to settle down and have families and I feel that I need to get to the same place by meeting the girl of my dreams and start to settle down.
For both occasions, the counsellor said that it will take time but more importantly I need to get rid of the Anxiety first before we can look at these topics.
Sadly though the counsellor called an end to the meeting but promised me that at my next meeting in two weeks, we will start to tackle this Anxiety together.
To be continued...
Wednesday 15 October 2014
Wednesday 8 October 2014
Writing with Anxiety: Prologue
Evening All,
There have been times where I have been really worried about my future after getting a major setback. The last time something like this happened was when I left Nottingham Trent University for the first time in 2007.
But this time feels rather different, basically I am now in a battle with myself and I have to win if I am ever going to be successful and happy.
As you may already know I have been diagnosed with Anxiety - A disease which I thought I would never have despite all the bad things that have happened in my life so far, I thought that I would eventually get the dream job and lifestyle after a lot of hard work, but emotionally this has been a completely different story.
This Anxiety been building up since I graduated from University in 2009, which should have been a great time for me as I have just got my Journalism qualification and was set free onto the reporting world. But sadly the rejection job applications and failed interviews that I got during the past 5 years has taken a toll on my brain as I have suffering panic attacks at different times of the day and without reason as well.
The final straw for this decision was on Sunday where I had no current work to do for either KSN or Gillingham Ladies; I was chilling out at home where for no reason I suffered two massive panic attacks at different times during the day. Both of these attacks got me really worried about myself and I decided there and then to see someone about it.
After a meeting with my GP, he diagnosed me with Anxiety which I was surprised about. But after a long conversation with my GP and a small confession on my part as I said my previous panic attacks began in 2009 after I graduated from Nottingham Trent University, I accepted that I had the condition and I was willing to make the first step to get help.
So I phoned up a counsellor from Faversham to make an enquiry to talk to someone about my Anxiety and start the long road to make me feel better. Luckily for me there was someone who was willing to talk and help me overcome this condition by attending sessions once a week to discuss this Anxiety and chance my life but I want to try something else alongside this help.
So along to help with my therapy meetings, I thought I would try to write out my feelings whilst living with Anxiety. There is a lot going through my head during the day and it does make think both - positively and negatively - and I feel that writing them down will help me conquer this Anxiety and help me get better.
My first interview with my counsellor is set for two weeks time (hopefully earlier) so I will probably go through a lot of emotional stuff before our first meeting. This is a good thing as we can get to work straight away to make me happier, healthier and stronger both mentally and emotionally.
I know that is will not be a pleasant journey for me and my counsellor, but in order to make myself better I have to get all of the negativity out of my mind and change my life for the better.
To be continued... but in the meantime,
I'll Sithee
There have been times where I have been really worried about my future after getting a major setback. The last time something like this happened was when I left Nottingham Trent University for the first time in 2007.
But this time feels rather different, basically I am now in a battle with myself and I have to win if I am ever going to be successful and happy.
As you may already know I have been diagnosed with Anxiety - A disease which I thought I would never have despite all the bad things that have happened in my life so far, I thought that I would eventually get the dream job and lifestyle after a lot of hard work, but emotionally this has been a completely different story.
This Anxiety been building up since I graduated from University in 2009, which should have been a great time for me as I have just got my Journalism qualification and was set free onto the reporting world. But sadly the rejection job applications and failed interviews that I got during the past 5 years has taken a toll on my brain as I have suffering panic attacks at different times of the day and without reason as well.
The final straw for this decision was on Sunday where I had no current work to do for either KSN or Gillingham Ladies; I was chilling out at home where for no reason I suffered two massive panic attacks at different times during the day. Both of these attacks got me really worried about myself and I decided there and then to see someone about it.
After a meeting with my GP, he diagnosed me with Anxiety which I was surprised about. But after a long conversation with my GP and a small confession on my part as I said my previous panic attacks began in 2009 after I graduated from Nottingham Trent University, I accepted that I had the condition and I was willing to make the first step to get help.
So I phoned up a counsellor from Faversham to make an enquiry to talk to someone about my Anxiety and start the long road to make me feel better. Luckily for me there was someone who was willing to talk and help me overcome this condition by attending sessions once a week to discuss this Anxiety and chance my life but I want to try something else alongside this help.
So along to help with my therapy meetings, I thought I would try to write out my feelings whilst living with Anxiety. There is a lot going through my head during the day and it does make think both - positively and negatively - and I feel that writing them down will help me conquer this Anxiety and help me get better.
My first interview with my counsellor is set for two weeks time (hopefully earlier) so I will probably go through a lot of emotional stuff before our first meeting. This is a good thing as we can get to work straight away to make me happier, healthier and stronger both mentally and emotionally.
I know that is will not be a pleasant journey for me and my counsellor, but in order to make myself better I have to get all of the negativity out of my mind and change my life for the better.
To be continued... but in the meantime,
I'll Sithee
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