Writing with Anxiety: Assessment

Evening All,

Since being diagnosed with Anxiety, I have been constantly trying to create the first step to getting back to full health. But today was the first day where I can really start to rebuild my life and get over this anxiety I have.

This week in particular has been quite challenging particularly from work and at home. There was a time when I was covering Gillingham Ladies Reserves this past Sunday, there was a time when it felt like my mind was going to explode and it felt that there was nothing I can do about it.

Luckily today was the day when I had my first Anxiety screening with my counsellor and we can both together work on getting me happier, healthier and stronger. In all honesty, I wasn't expected to have this assessment meeting with so quickly but thanks to a few cancellations, I managed to get the interview today.

We sat down in a room and simply explained my past of what got to where I am presently today and what normally happens when I am having a panic attack. The counsellor recommended me to try some new breathing techniques to use when I have my next panic attack - should one come up.

I did explain to the counsellor about a few issues which has caused this anxiety both in the past in the present.  These included; past and present relationship troubles, numerous job applications that failed, family issues and my past as a child especially my troubles when I was at SCC.

Overall, the counsellor decided that I have not been happy for a very long time and I said that I need to get rid of all of the negative thoughts and make myself more self confident especially at work and with the Ladies.

I also explained to the counsellor that I have been left behind in my reporting work where all of my friends and former colleagues have gone and done bigger and better things, I said that I have fallen behind and I badly need to catch up. And also with my friends as well, they have all started to settle down and have families and I feel that I need to get to the same place by meeting the girl of my dreams and start to settle down.

For both occasions, the counsellor said that it will take time but more importantly I need to get rid of the Anxiety first before we can look at these topics.

Sadly though the counsellor called an end to the meeting but promised me that at my next meeting in two weeks, we will start to tackle this Anxiety together.


To be continued...